The worlds most precious commodity

Ask someone on the street what the worlds most precious commodity is and you are likely to get different answers.

Some may say oil, or its refined version gasoline. Certainly it is of great importance to developed countries, and even more so to developing countries like China, where access to oil may limit its growth.

Ask a 21 year old and you are likely to get the answer Alcohol (because of its ability to replace fossil fuels no doubt)

An investor may say gold or silver, a Florida farmer might answer orange juice.

Ask a person anywhere outside the North American continent, and the answer is most likely to be clean drinking water. What we take for granted here is of such vital importance elsewhere in the world that people routinely die due to the lack of it. I read an article that said 2.2 million deaths per annum occur from unsanitary water - ninety percent of these are children under the age of five.Sot

Even in the good ol' USA there isn't always the cleanest water (take Florida for instance). The water is always safe, but due to high sulfur content or other impurities, it doesn't smell or taste the best, but no one ever died from drinking it.

I take it for granted that when I turn on the faucet, clean disease free water is there for me to drink, cook with, bathe in, water my lawn with, or to simply watch it go down the drain if i choose. Since I read the article I started conserving water. I no longer wait for the hot water to fill the tea kettle. I catch the cold water before it warms for the shower, in a bottle (OK i don't catch it all) and use that to brush my teeth. I turn the water off after I am soaped and shampooed up, then turn it back on to rinse. I stopped running the water to clean the dishes and started filling a sink to rinse them all. I need to do more to be more water conscious, but at least its a start. This blog is not really about water. Its about all the things I take for granted. I made a list, and I will eventually share the whole list with you

Food: I take for granted the unprecedented access we have in America to safe, disease free food, and that I can get it 24/7/365 in a variety never before available to a population. Asian pears, Italian olive oil, Greek olives, wine cheese and champagne from France, Pistachios from Iran, fruits and vegetables that are not in season here are imported from Chile and other other South American Countries, Lamb from New Zealand, Ham from Poland, Crab from Alaska, Pineapple from Hawaii, and a thousand other things, just by going to COSTCO

Education: Both my girls were not just allowed to go to school, they were required to go (as was I). In many countries, education is only for the privileged. In some countries the sign on the education door says "no women", or "no poor". In poorer nations the children must go to work to help the family survive. Here EVERYONE has the same opportunity to get an education, and to better themselves as a result. Some people think our educational system is flawed. The fault lies not with the system of education in our country, but with the Parents, School Boards, Administrators, Union officials, and Teachers (in that order) of the failing school systems. The system itself is the best in the world, and attracts the best and the brightest from around the world. If your school system is failing you, the fault lies first with the Parents.

Freedom: We have unprecedented freedoms here. We have the freedom to vote, and to recall officials who do not serve us the way we elected them to. We have the freedom to believe in the God of our choice, without the fear of being killed for the way we believe. We have the freedom to speak, and although we may face harsh criticism for voicing our opinions (our detractors have the same freedom to speak as we do!) we do not get put in jail or threatened with a jihad for voicing our opinions. We have the freedom to travel without restrictions or special permissions. We have the freedom to congregate and protest against that which we believe is wrong. We have the freedom to keep and bear arms. We have way too many freedoms to list here. The Freedom commodity draws more people to America than any other. When people complain about limiting our freedoms (like making us get a background check before buying a handgun), I have to laugh. Send the whiners to China, or Russia, or Cuba, (pick any country without a representative democracy, and 1/2 the ones who do!), for a week to learn what real oppression is.

Family: Like most people I take my family for granted. Not that I don't love them, I do. I just don't tell them enough, and I assume way to much. They take me for granted as well (the whole circle of life thing). I don't have time to go into great detail, nor is it very interesting, Suffice it to say my kids think my wife and I were put here to pay their bills, bring them food and drink, and clean up after them (wow, I just realized my kids think they are the Pharaohs and my wife and I are the slaves!)

There are many more precious commodities I take for granted, way to many to write about in one sitting.

Today I am going to be grateful for all the things I take for granted. I am going to God for the gifts he has given me and my family. I am going to thank my mom for always being there when I most needed her. I am going to thank my dad for all the great training he gave me. I am going to thank my wife for standing by me when most women would have fled. I can't decide whether to be grateful to my girls for trying hard to live up to my high expectations, or to beat them with a stick for not being more grateful for all the opportunities we have given them (I'll probably skip the beating for now)

If we all took our gifts a little less for granted, it may not make the world a better place, but it will make us better people.

My opinion, and in America I can have it, speak openly about it (while drinking clean water, carrying a gun, eating a sandwich, protesting against the war in Iraq, and studying for an advanced degree) if I feel like it!

Daddy's and Daughters

I have two teenage daughters. As I continue to write, I'm sure a large percentage of my topics will revolve around them.

My wife has this great relationship with her dad. Worship is not the right word, since my wife reserves that for God, but her dad comes in a close second. I always wanted that kind of relationship with my daughters, but the older they get, the less I believe that will happen.

I think if I had sons, I would feel differently, less protective. They are (would be) boys after all. All you need to do with boys is teach them how to take care of themselves. Toughen ‘em up and turn ‘em loose on an unsuspecting world, and watch them go! Of course, since I have no sons, I am sure I am wrong. Dad’s (good ones anyway) are probably just as protective of their sons as I am of my daughters.

One of the biggest concerns I have is that my girls find the right guy. We live in a suburb of Detroit. Like all big cities, it has it’s share of crime, but the article I read today carried a special chill for me as a father. You might think it was the article about the 11-year-old held hostage for 18 years, but you would be wrong. While that case was tragic, it is hard to imagine something like that happening to my girls. The article that gave me the chill was about a guy who will be nameless for this article, but who I will call Dirtbag

It seems that Dirtbag met a gal in one of our casinos, and the two of them hit it off. A week later, he had her pick him up for their first date. Now all first dates are difficult (getting to know someone is never easy), but this one was beyond what anyone should have to go through. When dinner was through, Dirtbag said he left his wallet in her car and asked her for the keys. Some of you can see it coming…he skipped out on the check, stole her car, and left her stranded.

Now don’t get me wrong…things could have gone so much worse. A restaurant bill and a stolen car are not the worst thing that could happen to a girl (I’m pretty sure she thinks she was lucky now that she knows what kind of man he was). I guess what chills me about the story is that I CAN see that happening to my girls.

As I said in one of my previous blogs, you can’t judge someone by how they look. Weirdo’s come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. As a dad, I am terrified that something like that could happen to one of mine.

As a dad, I want so much to protect them, but I realize that at some point, I can no longer watch out for them. My oldest has a boyfriend that could be a car stealer / check skipper. It has already caused a little strain between us. I decided to step aside and let her figure it out. I am sure it will not last anyway. If I do my job right and raise my girls the way my father in law raised my wife, my daughters will do just fine.

The hardest thing in the world to do, is to let someone you love live their life the way they want to live it. We know so much better how they should live it than they do. There are going to be some skipped checks in life, but they have to go through that don't they?.

Who knows if I am right? After all, all this stuff is just my opinion.

By the way, Dirtbag is (to the best of my knowledge) in the Royal Oak Lockup on charges of Grand Theft Auto. Stay away from my girls when you get out!

You are as tired as you think you are

I had a great conversation with my driver Shawn this morning. These drivers have a tough job. They get up at 4:00 am and sometimes work until 6:30pm (kind of a long shift) and although their jobs are not physically strenuous, they require rapt attention. Dealing with customers can also be mentally challenging. Of course they are underpaid. Add it all up and it makes for an exhausting day...if you allow it to be.

Earlier in my career, my wife and I both worked long hours (this was BK). We were up by 5:30, she didn't get home until after 7:00pm and me by after 11:00pm 4 days a week. When Friday rolled around, all we wanted to do was watch TV and fall asleep early for a change. We were absolutely exhausted...we thought.

We were planning an exotic vacation (remember this was BK) and decided we wanted to learn to SCUBA dive. Rec Dive had classes, but the only night we could be sure both of us could make was Friday night from 7-10pm. The first Friday night we got home from work expecting to be dragging. Surprisingly we were not. Filled with anticipation and enthusiasm for this new experience, we were like a couple of 10 year olds who didn't want to get out of the pool...no matter how blue our lips turned.

For 6 weeks we attended class, both in the classroom and the pool, and for 6 weeks we not only went to class we went out after class with some of the other students. Exhaustion....never.

Oddly enough once the classes were over, we went back to the old routine. Friday night TV fall asleep early, man were we exhausted...or were we?

We discovered that exhaustion has more to do with what you need to do than what you have already done! If you have things to do, places to go, people to meet, you have as much energy as you need! That does not mean the body can not become physically "whooped", but in today's power window, electric garage door, remote control TV, electric food processor, society, we really don't expend much physical energy. When people talk about mental exhaustion, it's just that, mental! That means you can also become mentally un-exhausted.

After that experience I realized that when I was "exhausted" it was a choice, not a condition. I am not talking about being sleep deprived, the body does need sleep. Without the right amount a person can wear themselves out. Most of us "exhausted" people though get enough sleep. If you don't, a 20 minute nap does wonders (no more no less).

You are only as tired as you choose to be! While I am at it, you are only as happy, sad, confident, fearful, stressed, calm, angry, loving, (insert your situation here) as you choose to be!

I choose to be a morning person (and an afternoon, evening late-night person). I choose to be filled with enthusiasm. I choose to be in a great mood (most of the time), and when I'm in a bad mood, that's my choice as well.

Choose to be all the positive things, forget about about the impact on those around you, you will feel 1,000 % better

By the way, if you haven't figured out what BK is, it stands for Before Kids, the wonderful time in your life where money is more available, you have extra time on your hands, far less aggravation and stress, and a lot less exhaustion!

The worst thing I did to my body

There was a saying when I was younger. Live fast, die young, and have a good looking corpse. When I first heard that, my reaction was "nope, not for me". When I die, I want people to look at my corpse and say "man, that guy went through hell", "what did he do to make himself look that bad?". I wanted to die old, have a terrible looking corpse, and show the world I did everything I could while I was alive. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.

So far I have accomplished 1/2 of my goal, my corpse will look like hell (those of you who know me know how true that statement is)

Over the years I found great ways to abuse my body. I started the abuse with tobogganing. When I was just a kid my mom got my brother and me a toboggan. Anyone who has ever used one knows the kind of damage you can do on a steep hill. Next came skiing, a brand new way to hurtle my body down a steep snow covered hill with obstacles waiting to slam you to the ground. As I got older I discovered even better ways to abuse my body. Alcohol let me feel the same pain without all that work of getting all dressed up and using all that energy. Anyone who has ever had a serious hangover knows exactly what I am talking about.

Without a doubt, the best way I ever found to abuse my body was tobacco. I was a Newport guy for somewhere around 20 years. I know why I started smoking. When I was a kid, it seemed like everyone was a smoker. My mom smoked, her husband smoked, I was pretty sure my dad smoked (we were not that close when I was a kid). Everyone on TV and in the movies smoked. The high school I went to actually allowed smoking (not inside, but outside the building between classes). The students and teachers would go outside to catch a quick smoke between classes. Smoking was cool, an adult thing to do. It put you in the company of older "cooler" people, and gave you something in common with them. It gave you an easy way to approach girls, "got a light" was smoker talk for "wow you are hot, looking for a boyfriend?" Even though you had to be 18 to buy cigarettes, the school never gave us any problems. Buying them was easy as well. You could not go into a store and buy them, but there were cigarette machines everywhere. Drop in $.50 (Can you believe that? Not $5, 50 cents), pull a lever and out came a pack of smokes and a book of matches too (that was before the greatest invention in the history of smoking, the Bic lighter). When I got to college, it was easier (since I was old enough to buy them). Since smoking was legal for all us college kids, The OC (my college hangout) allowed smoking inside. In fact they had a small non-smoking section way in the back for all the weenies who were not cool enough to smoke!

I never realized the damage I was doing. When you are young and in reasonably good shape, smoking did not make it hard to climb stairs, or make you hack and cough when you woke up. It was only as I got older that the damage became more obvious, and by then, I was severely addicted. I lied to myself by saying I could quit whenever I wanted to, I just did not want to. The truth was tobacco had me by throat (actually somewhere lower, but I am being polite).

The world changed around me. Somewhere between the time I started at 14 and the time I quit at the age of 34, the world discovered that smoking was actually bad for you. It started with a warning on the side of the package. "Warning: cigarette smoking may be hazardous to your health", became "Warning: the Surgeon General has determined that cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health", then a series of warnings about cancer and low birth weight. It was now painfully obvious that smoking was a dumb thing to do.

Everyone around me became a non smoker. My mom quit, my dad quit, one by one all my friends who smoked quit. My wife never smoked (how she tolerated my smell is beyond me). Suddenly there was pressure from all angles to quit. So I did what anyone in my position (hopelessly addicted) would do, I lied about quitting. My car became my smoking refuge. As often as I could, I went for a drive to feed my habit. In between drives, I tried to hide my habit (took a shower when I got home, brushed my teeth, used mouthwash, splashed on cologne). Of course I fooled no one. Smoking was no longer cool. Now if you smoked people looked at you like you were a loser. The non smoking section became the smoking section (way in the back with all the other weenies who were not cool enough to be a non-smoker), and eventually we were even kicked out of all the buildings. I still see the desperately addicted, huddling together outside in the dead of winter braving the cold to feed the beast its nicotine

Two things finally got me to quit. One was when a friend of mine died of alcoholism. I was talking to someone about it, and I said "How can you be dumb enough to let a substance control your life like that" As I put out my smoke, the parallel struck me square between the eyes. I was doing the same thing, just with a different substance. I was no smarter and no better than an alcoholic or a heroin addict. A crack head and a smoker have a lot in common. The only real difference is you can buy smokes anywhere and for a lot cheaper. The image of me as an addict was too much for my ego to suffer, I knew I was better than that. The second thing was when my oldest daughter "caught me". I took her to my office, had her stay in the car while I ran in to get something, and used the chance to light one up. As I was coming out of the office I flipped away the cigarette (when you smoke, the world is one big ashtray), and thought I got away with it. When I got back in the car my 5 year old said "daddy, why do you smoke?" I don't remember my answer, but I do remember thinking "yeah, why do I?". The follow up is what caused me to quit forever. My 5 year old looked at me with tears in her eyes and said "daddy, I don't want you to die".

I wish I could tell you quitting was easy, it wasn't. It is fifteen years later, and once in a while when the alarm goes off, I will reach for a smoke and realize I will never smoke again.

My oldest claims she has tried cigarettes, but there are too many signs to ignore. She does not smoke often, but that will change if she does not end it now. No one can be a part time smoker. It is only a matter of time. I know from personal experience, once it has you, it is like a Boa Constrictor. It wraps its coils around you and keeps squeezing you harder and harder (an apt analogy since they both take your breath away).

I think I will remind her that smoking gave me tongue cancer (part of my bad looking corpse, I am missing the right side of my tongue courtesy of a mildly invasive squamous cell carcinoma). I will take her to a bar named Roosevelt's (a smokers paradise). I will have lunch there with her, then take her outside and have her smell her clothes and my hair. When you smoke, you carry the "cloud" of stench with you. Since she likes money as much as her dad does, I will show her that over their lifetime, a smoker will spend an amount that if invested would become a Million Dollars (no Joke, A MILLION DOLLARS.) $5/pack x 7 packs per week x 52 weeks per year x 30 years + a reasonable rate of return, do the math. And smoking will not get cheaper, it is the favorite tax target of every State and the Federal Government. Funny, they are like drug dealers, taking advantage of the addicted to raise money. I will try to explain the terrible price you pay by smoking (she already knows this, but a reminder never hurts). Somehow I must inspire her the way she once inspired me.

The price of smoking is way too high. I can't let her take as long as I did to learn. I love her too much to idly stand by and watch her slowly kill herself. You probably have people in you life that need to quit. Remind them with love. Nagging doesn't work, criticizing doesnt work, punishment doesn't work, education doesn't work, at least all those tactics failed to change me. In the movie "Natural Born Killers" there is a line that says "love kills the beast". It killed mine, now I must see if my love can kill it again.

Remind the people around you who smoke, how much you love them, and how hard it is to watch someone you love slowly kill themselves. Let's all hope that love kills the beast

TMI dad TMI

I wrote a blog today about one of the big three Taboo Subjects (politics, religion, and sex)

It is a blog you will never see unless I write a book someday. Too bad really, it was funny, and insightful, with just the right amount of humor and balanced with a serious look at how religious fanatics are destroying our great country. Or it was a narcissistic piece of crap lacking in any artistic or literary integrity, I really can't decide. But then, neither can you, HAH!

I decided not to publish it because I thought it was a bit too personal. Not for me, there are very few things I am uncomfortable talking about (to the great dismay of my wife), but the subject of my religious views should remain just that, my religious views. My wife shouldn't have to defend my views if someone we know should happen to read this (not much chance of that judging by my HUGE lack of an audience). Not that she would try to defend my views anyway, she stopped apologizing for my behavior years ago. The point is, she shouldn't have to.

That seems to be the forgotten part of the equation today. The effect our new found freedom of expression has on the people around us. I chose not to publish my religion blog, not because of the effect on me, but because of the possible effect on those around me, if someone they know should somehow come across my writings. Here's a SHOCKER, some of my opinions could be offensive to those who don't share my views on politics or religion.

It seems like nowadays all three taboo subjects are splashed across the small screen in ever increasing doses. We have become a society of voyeurs with nothing too personal or controversial to explore 24 hours a day on the Real channel, Jerry Springer, Fox, or on Judge Joe. People reveal the most intimate things for the world to see. If that isn't bad enough, people with a never ending supply of narcissism splash photo's of themselves across Facebook and embarrassing and sometimes compromising videos of themselves on YouTube, just to see how many clicks they get or how many times their video was viewed. The sad thing is, they do it without a thought as to how it might effect the ones around you, or how it might effect your future. I tried to put my self in Richard Hilton's place. I wondered how I would feel if everywhere I went people shook my hand and thought " I saw your daughter's Porno". I still can't get rid of the lump in my throat as I thought about my daughter making the same mistake. Now imagine the abuse her kids will face as the other kids play clips of their mom "doin' the nasty" on their cellphones. She will need every penny of the Hilton Fortune to pay for therapy for those kids (and you know she will have them). Nowadays cameras and Video cameras are everywhere, and it seems to have desensitized us to embarrassing or offensive behaviors.

In the "good ol days" if a sex video of you surfaced, you were humiliated to the point of plastic surgery and a new identity. Now you get a reality show where you explore the size of your ass in the porno. In the old days kids caught stealing a car pulled their jackets over their heads to hide their identity, now they drive around in dangerous car chases until a news crew gets there to film the bust! The kids look directly into the camera and give a shout out to their friends (their parents must be so proud). It is entertaining as hell (just look at the ratings), but is it making our society better? I would have to vote no.

We have swung a bit to far to the "say and do anything we want" side. It is time to get closer to the "keep my opinions and embarrassing behaviors to my self" side

For my part I am going to be more careful about what I write and who I might offend, and I will try to influence those around me to do the same.

What did my wife do?

Today I am mad at my mom. As she reads this (I'm pretty sure she reads it, but she hasn't listed herself as a follower), her first reaction will be "what the heck did I do"

My mom did to me what parents have been doing to their kids since the dawn of time. She cursed me. That's all I have to say, and anyone with kids knows EXACTLY what she did, and why I am so mad today.

Anyone without kids, but who has watched the Bill Cosby special "Himself" isn't laughing quite as hard as my mom is, but they think they know why I am angry. If you haven't guessed it yet, you are childless, and you were the kid that never gave mom and dad any trouble. I'm not sure how old I was when she first cursed me. I know I deserved it because I remember all the crummy things I said and did to my mom once I passed the age of 8 (I'm sure my mom remembers them, and probably a few I didn't think were so bad).

My mom stared me right in the eyes and said (everyone) "Someday you will have kids, and they will do the same things to you that you have done to me!".

Most of us have heard that line (except for my wife who was the kid that never gave her parents any trouble). When I told her about the curse, she looked at me and said "yeah, but what did I do/"

I still can't figure out where we went wrong. I didn't do all the things I was certain my mom screwed up on raising me. I praised them far more than I criticized them. I only spanked them 1x each. I tried to give them everything I didn't get when I was growing up. And yet, they are in many ways, just as bad to me as I was to my mom. OK I lied, they could not possibly have been as bad to me as I was to my mom, but it doesn't hurt me any less than I'm sure it hurt her. So much for the argument of Heredity vs. Environment. (I heard B.F Skinner was devastated when his kids kids turned out different than he thought they would) Chalk one up to the ol' gene pool

With a few exceptions my kids have done the same things that I did (the exception being they were never brought home by the police. Operating a motorcycle without a license, fleeing from the police on said same motorcycle, getting away by by doing my best Steve McQueen (Evel Knievel for the younger crowd, Jeff Ward for the really young crowd, if you have to ask, you are too old) over a chain link fence, and being turned in by the only honest kid at the playground. So far my kids have been free of any legal troubles (he said looking to the heavens and crossing himself). They have been mouthy, defiant, and disrespectful (on a bad day, not always) of my wife and myself (wife and me?). They have "hidden treasures" in the rooms (blouses, shoes, and dresses not conservative enough for our tastes, not to mention dishes and food that became science projects). Parking tickets that were not paid on time and fines that quintupled because of it. Leaving the lights and TV on and a bunch of dirty dishes in the family room (not to worry we have 2 people to clean up after them....yeah its us)

I won't bore you with all my complaints, let's just say I look at my kids with equal parts pride and pain.

The curse must be stopped. It is too painful, and with rare exceptions, no parent deserves it (I can think of one or two who do) So far I have not wished the curse on my kids, (not out loud anyway, and as we all know thinking about it doesn't count). I pray that if they have kids, the curse will end with me (but there goes that little genetic thingy). I pray that their kids will never break their heart, or hurt their feelings, or make them question why their kids would treat them that way. I hope my grandkids will be everything that I was not growing up.

Most of all all I hope the curse has done its worst to me, and that my mom forgives me for all the heartache I caused her (She has to right? After all she is my mom!)

As always, just my opinion...anyone out there share it?

Don't judge a book by the clothes it wears.

Ok so the quotes a little off. All my life I have been judged by looks. I was lucky enough to find something I loved to do (and was good at) at a very young age. I graduated from a University when I was just shy of 21. I can't claim any special intelligence, it was just based on hard work, going to school all year round, taking overload classes (usually 20+ credit hours), and a little luck with my scheduling. As a result, I was younger than most when I graduated from college.

Looking young is both a treasure and a curse. In the beginning, no one takes you seriously (think Doogie Howser without the heavy facial hair). Past the age of 35 it is a real blessing (think Dick Clark under 200). The biggest challenge was being taken seriously. After a few years in the business I volunteered to help new people on sales calls. It never failed, we would go on sales calls and the customers always thought I was the one being trained. They would direct all the questions to the "senior" rep, who would usually turn to me for the answers. I did not mind (I always thought it was funny, especially when the customer finally realized I was the trainer, not the trainee). Another sure thing was them saying "do you mind if I ask you your age?" I learned a great line from my dad, I would lean in and say "can you keep a secret". They always said yes, to which i would reply "so can I". If they pressed the issue, I would say, "well I graduated from college 4 years ago, you can do the math". It gave me an extra year or two in most minds.

When I got married a lot of the questions stopped. Something about a wedding ring changes how old you look (that or being married ages you quickly). People still judged me by my looks but in different situations. My wife and I decided to buy a boat (OK I decided and she went along, I told you she was perfect!). I went to the boat dealer on the weekend (No sense costing myself money when I was going to spend a chunk of it) Because it was the weekend I was dressed casually (jeans and a polo). I wandered around the showroom waiting for a sales person to approach me. You guessed it, they all went after the older people (the serious buyers). I finally got tired of waiting and approached a guy doing paperwork at a desk. I asked if we could talk about the boat I knew I was going to buy. He looked me up and down, looked back at his paperwork and said "I'll be with you in a minute". The younger me did not like being underestimated, so I went to another salesman just standing around and loudly said "you and I are going to argue about the price, but I'm leaving today with that boat" pointing at the one I wanted. He was only too happy to help me. Of course the first rep jumped to his feet and said " hey I was going to help you". "Too late" I replied.

Another time I went to the Gucci store in Somerset Mall (again in my jeans and a polo...maybe that was the problem) and saw a purse I knew was perfect for my mom. I approached a sales person and said "can I see that purse on the top row". She looked me over and haughtily said "it's very expensive". You know of course what I did..I bought the purse from another person (and if there is a God they worked on commission). There were many other examples, and I'm certain i am not the only person who has been underestimated by others.

History is chock full of people who were underestimated. Albert Einstein, as everyone knows, worked as a patent clerk because he could not get a teaching post. Napoleon was underestimated because of his stature. Michael Jordan was cut from the High School varsity team as a sophomore. No one gave Barack Obama a chance against the Clinton machine. Mahatma Gandhi expected the British to walk out of India (I would love to have taken the odds on that action....100 million to 1 maybe?). No one gave Spud Webb a shot at the slam dunk title. I guess those of us who have been underestimated are in great company.

At 48 I am no longer underestimated due to my age, people frequently ask if my wife is my daughter (not the age, its the mileage). Now I am underestimated for a much different reason. I am wheelchair bound. I was in my wheelchair, and a puddle did something to the motor. The wheelchair was barely moving. I needed someone to help me out by pushing the reset button in the back (out of my reach). I approached a guy in a nearby gas station. I said "hey buddy, can you help with something?" His response was "sorry, I don't have any change!" My brain was working quickly that day so I shot back "Too bad", "I can give you a few bucks if you will push the reset button on my wheelchair for me." He blushed a bit and apologized for thinking I was a bum (ooops there goes my political incorrectness again, I mean a panhandler....Naaahhh a bum)

Don't judge a book by it's cover. Don't judge a person by their age or stature, their formal education or lack of it, and a hundred other things that cause us to make snap judgments.

Once again, just my opinion, one shared by Einstein, Napoleon, Obama, Gandhi, Jordan, and the hundreds of thousands of us who were or are underestimated.

Zen and the Art of Salmon Fishing

Years ago, I was introduced to Salmon fishing by a guy named Fred Herb. For some reason, we drifted apart. No arguments, no problems, just responsibilities. Fred owned his own company making custom furniture, and I was busy trying to build our business in MI, and we just never seemed to connect.

Fred was an outdoors man. Nothing made him happier than being around nature. Fishing for Salmon was one of his specialties, and boy was he good at it. He had all the right lures (black and gold lightning lures were a favorite of his), knew all the right places, what the best time and temperatures were, etc. We usually limited out, but when we caught our limit, or if the Salmon were not hitting, he would switch tactics and go after Lakers (Lake trout, not basketball players).

One day sticks out in my memory. We got in to Onekema on Lake Michigan, the night before we planned to go out. There was a pretty strong storm that night, but by the time we were ready to go out, the storm was over. The aftermath of the storm was not. I had never seen waves that big on a lake before. A forty foot boat was trying to leave the cove where it was docked and where we launched my little 20 foot fishing boat.. The waves were so big they were crashing over the deck of the cabin cruiser threatening to swamp it. Since we had a small enough boat to "ride the waves", we decided to give it a go. We headed straight into the waves, and other than some minor seasickness we had no problem getting out.

We set the first downrigger, and before we could set the second we had a fish on. The whole morning was like that, we kept getting two fish on at the same time. While that sounds fun, with huge waves and no one to drive the boat, we got more than a little wet when the boat took a wave from the side. We caught our limit in less than 3 hours (big King Salmon too, not a fish less than 9 pounds), and it was non stop fun. We could not wait for the next day. The next day Lake Michigan was like glass. I never saw Lake Michigan flat before. You could have water skied on it. Miles out and the lake was still calmer than I had ever seen. We did not catch a single fish. The fish finder said they were down there, we just could not get them to bite.

When you are a Dale Carnegie Instructor, you always look for analogies, and this is my only fishing analogy. Life can be a lot like that fishing trip. When you take your problems head on (like we took the waves) they are not so hard to handle. It is only when you try to "side step" them or get distracted by other issues that they tend to swamp you and threaten to capsize you. Secondly, when life is throwing a lot of waves at you, it's usually throwing a lot of fish your way as well. The challenge is to catch the fish without getting swamped by the waves, and boy does it make life exciting. And finally when all is calm and there are no waves to keep you on your toes, life can be boring as hell.

We need waves in our lives. I saw a poster once that said "life is a daring adventure or it is nothing". I'm not sure I agree. I would change it to "life is a daring adventure or it is boring". Don't be afraid of the waves, take them head on. Don't try to side step them, they only get bigger, and for heaven's sake look at all the fish getting thrown your way!

As usual just my opinion, and Fred Herb would agree.

Its all about perspective

Repeat after me "its great to be alive" "today is going to be fantastic, I know that because I woke up" (the day I don't wake up will really suck!)

I read an article about a comet striking Jupiter. The comet was thought to be the size of the Earth...yep that's right, the size of the Earth! The comet did not hit Jupiter two million years ago, or two thousand years, or two hundred years or even two years ago. Lots of times astronomers will tell you the supernova they witnessed actually happened two thousand years ago and it took that long for the light to reach us. This event happened Friday!

Most people when they hear Jupiter think "so what, Jupiter is a long way away". When you consider the size of the universe, a comet hitting Jupiter is like 747 hitting the house 2 lots down. Even worse, depending on the comets origin, had the trajectory been a single degree different, it would have struck the Earth. The comet was traveling 37 miles per second. At that rate it could finish the Indy 500 in less than 14 seconds. It could go around the Earth in 11 minutes. It could travel the distance from the Moon to the Earth in less than 2 hours. We know comets have struck the Earth many times in the past. In fact, if not for a big strike, we might be dodging T-Rex and Velociraptors. We know it will happen again, the only question is when, and how big.

What struck me about this was not the proximity or the size of the strike, but the fact that no one saw it coming. It was not like the movie Armageddon, where the scientists spotted it weeks before the actual strike. No one saw it until AFTER it hit the planet! It was not spotted by the Hubble space telescope, or by the scientists at JPL or NASA, it was spotted by a 44-year-old amateur astronomer Anthony Wesley, who works as a computer programmer and lives in the town of Murrumbatema just outside of Canberra in the Australian Capital Territory (ACT).

If "the big one" hits the Earth, we will probably have just enough time to bend over and kiss our butts goodbye (and that's only if you are on the opposite side of where the comet strikes)

"So why the astronomy lesson Mark?" This blog is really more about perspective than what's in the sky around us. In my life the things that seem to set me off are the little things, like when the kids leave the TV and the lights on in the family room when they go to bed. Or when the kids leave the empty cans and dirty dishes in the family room, or when they do both.

I have my share of problems in life (sometimes I think I got more than my share). If I choose to focus on my problems I could make myself feel pretty miserable. My kids have their share of bad habits and irritating behaviors, if I focus on them, I can make their lives miserable. My wife is perfect so I have no complaints (she may be reading these, i don't know, but better safe than to get hit in the head with a shovel).

The truth is we all have things in our lives that can drive us crazy, if we let it. Most of us have far more to be grateful for than to complain about. You woke up today, that's a great start. One of the books by Dale Carnegie is a book called "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living". If you haven't read it, get a copy. If you have read it, read it again. One of my favorite quotes is "most people are about as happy as they decide to be.". It is all about perspective. From one point of view we have problems, from another point of view we have opportunities, how you choose to look at it makes a huge difference.

I'm not going to ignore the problems I have. I'm going to work every day to solve them. I'm not going to ignore my kids bad habits, I'm going to work every day to change them. I'm just going to do it with a smile on my face and love in my heart, because there is so much more for me to be grateful about. And at least my wife is perfect (I try to say that a few times a day).

Our problems in life are mostly the small ones, and the big problems, the Earth killing, mind numbing, drive you crazy, put you in the hospital, make you beg for death, comet type problems, are no different than the comet that struck Jupiter. You never see them coming, and when you do its too late!

As usual, just my opinion, and one that is shared by most of the happy people you meet!

Your attitude IS your fault

I think we all were told at one point or another not to talk to strangers. An impossible standard since at one point or another everyone is a stranger to you.. Yesterday I had a long talk with a stranger.

I have one of those faces that says "come talk to me". I know that because it happens everywhere I go. I guess its because I am usually smiling and don't immediately look away when someone looks at me.

I would like to think people look at me because I am a great looking guy, but the truth is they probably look at me because i am in a wheelchair and my hands are severely contracted from arthritis.

Lately the topic of discussion goes like this: "do you mind if I ask you, what did this to you". I guess I do mind, nobody ever goes up to a an obese person and says "do you mind if I ask you, what did you eat to get this way", or says to a person with severe scarring "were in a fire or get burned by acid" (that is a line from The Princess Bride, if you haven't seen the movie rent it), but something about me says it's OK to ask intensely personal questions. To be honest, I don't like to talk about it. My father taught me not to relive painful experiences, and every time you talk about something unpleasant you are reliving it. But rather than be equally rude and saying "yeah I do mind" or "do you mind if I ask you why you are wearing that shirt with those pants, or "do you mind if I ask you when you last brushed your teeth" (you can tell I have at least thought about saying those things). I usually give them a short answer and try to escape the conversation politely.

Yesterday the stranger approached me with the usual question. I tried the "short answer escape politely" thing, but this guy would have none of that. He actually followed me into the pharmacy I tried to escape to, and asked me all kinds of questions about how I stayed so positive in spite of my handicaps.

I tried to explain that everyone in life has handicaps and that mine were just more obvious. Lots of people are handicapped by a lack of confidence or a lack of belief in themselves. Some are handicapped by an inability to deal with people, or by a bad attitude or by a hundred other things that hold people back. His response was predictable . He said "sometimes it isn't your fault though right?" "take me for instance" (really it wasn't your fault? How shocking! Great to meet the ONE exception whose attitude is not THEIR fault) "I was abused as a child", "then because I am black I have this slave mentality" blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda (I still miss Seinfeld) all these BS excuses why it should be a OK for him to not have a positive attitude.

As I prayed for my pick up to be on time (it was late of course), I told him he needed to change his behavior. He said "don't you mean my attitude". Nope your behavior. Here's my Carnegie training coming at ya! People spend thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours on an analysts couch trying to figure out why they are "screwed up" and who or what to blame for it. "Your attitude and your actions", Dale says "go hand in hand" trying to change your attitude is hard. Changing your actions is easy. If you act a certain way, your attitude follows it (like the cops on an LA freeway).

Lacking in confidence? Do things that require courage. Can't handle pressure? Put yourself in pressure positions (safe but pressured). Feeling down or blue? Go do something you like or go to a comedy club. You can't feel depressed while you are laughing your butt off. The point is your problems don't go away by talking about them (in most cases it makes them worse no matter how "cathartic" it is). Your problems only go away when you take some action to get rid of them.

After half an hour my ride arrived and as I charged toward the door in my Jazzy Wheelchair (nope no product placement, I do not get paid for the plug), the guy said "I get it thanks...I need to change my attitude".

"You got it" I said, thinking "that guy did not understand a thing I said!"

Most of our problems can be solved if we are willing to work on them, of course that's just my opinion

Crime does pay and that needs to change

Has anyone not received an email claiming to need your help to get money out of a country? How about the Internet lottery you won that you do not remember entering, or the account you have that is frozen until you click on the link and give the bank, or PayPal, or (insert the financial company here), your credit card info or SSN.

Anyone got a check from a Craigslist buyer for more than you asked? The catch is you cash it, keep a little extra for the hassle and send him the item and the change. Of course when the check bounces like a super ball your bank dings you for the money.

Stuff like this happens every day...change that, several times...perhaps hundreds of times per day. Proving that without a doubt CRIME DOES PAY!!! These criminals face almost no risk of prosecution.

I use the Internet to buy and sell. I tried using Craigslist (I liked the idea of not paying a commission on a sale). I listed several very expensive coins, and to my surprise got an immediate response. The buyer wanted to pay by check (fine with me, I would rather not pay the credit card company either), what came next made me immediately suspicious. The buyer informed me he would be traveling for a few weeks, did not have his checkbook with him, but had a check he was going to use to buy some other coins until he saw mine for sale. The problem was the check was for 2 thousand dollars more than I was asking for my coins. He wanted me to cash the check, give the coins and the change to his assistant who would come by to pick it up, and keep an extra $500 for my troubles. Was I lucky or what? $4,000.00 for $3500, worth of coins and all I had to do was deposit his check and give him $1,500.00 change. Anyone who doesn't smell a rat is blinded by greed.

I had a problem. When the buyer originally asked if he could send me a check, I emailed my address to him. Now a person I knew was a crook had my home address and the impression that I kept some very valuable coins in my home. Since, like you I watch TV, I thought lets run a sting operation. I emailed him that everything was fine except that I keep my coins in a safety deposit box (which is true) and that I owned a very large dog that did not like strangers (he is actually a medium sized dog who is terrified of strangers. the biggest risk you take is that he will pee on you from fear). I suggested we meet at the bank where I could cash the check and make the exchange.

After I emailed him that idea, I called the local Police and told them about my plan. They sent a squad car to my house, where I explained what was happening. His first question was "how do you know the check will be bogus". I explained it was a common Internet fraud. His response was "maybe this one isn't, and even if it is, the person he sends may have no knowledge his boss is breaking the law" "he could have paid some poor guy to pick up the goods and the change and send it to him" "and even if the check was bad, the fraud would not be happening in our jurisdiction" "The actual fraud would have taken place where he counterfeited the check". So much for my brilliant sting idea. The officer suggested I contact the FBI.

The next day, the check arrives by UPS express mail. This guy makes enough money to spend $5 to send a check! It actually added to his credibility! Had I not been aware of the scam, I would have been impressed! Just to be sure I called the bank the check was drawn on. It was a real check, from a real account, that had it's checks really stolen! The poor guy who ran the business the check was drawn on had calls from across the country from people who had been defrauded. Of course they wanted him to make good on the checks.

Patting myself on the back for being so smart, and bad check in hand, I called the G-men expecting them to like the idea of a sting. I had visions of wearing a wire, and signaling the Fibbies by running my hands through my hair when the deal was done. The feds would slap on the cuffs while I snarled "read him rights" and spit on his shoes. I saw myself at the trial saying "that's the piece of shit that tried to con me" and being admonished by the judge for using that kind of language in his courtroom. Real "Law and Order" stuff was dancing in my head. I was going to see these bad guys brought to justice!

Reality Bites (wasn't there a movie with that title?)! The local Feds explained that this happens so often they don't have the manpower to follow up on it all. The best he could do was take the name of the guy, and if he screwed enough people out of enough money, they might go after him. Hmmmm, what are the odds the guy uses the same name for every scam? I watched an episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals", even they would not be that stupid. I asked him if I should at least send him the bogus check which I had never touched without wearing latex gloves so they could dust it for the bastard's fingerprints (man I watch too many crime shows). His response was at last predictable to me "nah, just throw it out"

I pondered keeping it, if it is this easy to screw people out of money, maybe I'll give this crime thing a shot. All I had to do was search Craigslist for someone selling something worth $5,000 or less, and try the same thing with the same check. All the really hard work (stealing the check, forging the signature) had already been done for me. After all, I had learned it is all but impossible to get caught. Imagine how much more difficult it must be if the crook is in another country!

I really didn't give it much thought, unlike most crooks, I have a conscience The sad thing is, the more you need money, the more likely you are to be fooled by these SOB'S. It happens every day, frequently to the elderly who can be easily fooled by a slick con man. Even very intelligent people can be fooled or blinded by greed, ask any Bernie Madoff client (what an appropriate name since Bernie made off with everyone's cash). If he had not gotten greedy and stolen billions, the Feds would never have arrested him! Every day he should be forced to listen to at least 3 people whose lives he has ruined, until he can't take it anymore and hangs himself.

Crime does pay. It shouldn't, but it does. Can we as a society afford to continue to let this happen? Something has to change. So many people suffer irreparable harm due to these criminals, to not pursue them should be a crime. There may not be enough jail cells to hold them, but cant we liquidate all their assets, including any assets that might have belonged to them? Should Madoff's wife get to keep even a penny? Maybe if the risk of financial disaster is greater than the reward for stealing the money, a person will think twice before they do it, How does 5 to 1 sound?
Steal a hundred pay a five hundred dollar fine. steal $100k pay a half million. Extend the fine to cover all the assets in the family. Don't let their wives and kids keep houses and trust funds. Right now, "white collar" criminals have almost nothing to fear. That has to change.

What do we do about the Nigerian scams (a lot of Internet fraud is based there)? We make it harder to transfer money to countries that allow those crimes to continue, or we reduce their aid by 5x the amount we can prove was stolen by their countrymen. It won't be long before their government tracks these crooks down and exacts their own type of punishment.

Once again, this is just my opinion, but anyone who has been fooled will share my opinion I'm sure

The Greatest Gift You Can Give

My Mom gave me the greatest gift you can ever give a child. She gave me the gift of reading. As a divorced single parent who worked a full time job, there wasn't a lot of time for her to interact with us, but she made the time count. She didn't sit us down in front of a TV. She read to us and developed her own set of flash cards to teach my brother and me to read. She started with 2 letter words, then three , then four etc. I'll never forget how good it felt to read my first three letter word (off) and I did it before my older brother! The first last and only time I beat him at anything.

The first book she read to me (that I remember) was Joseph and the coat of many colors. We made her read it to us every night (probably a good thing since money was tight and books were expensive. As tired as she was and as much as there were other things that needed to be done, she never let it interfere with our reading time. She taught me that if you can read, you can do anything. She made reading seem like this magic wand that would help us get whatever we wanted. Because of her I developed a passion for reading that exists to this very day.

Every Birthday or holiday with gifts involved I always got a book. First the Hardy Boys, when I caught up we had to wait until a new one came out, and no matter how tight money was she found a way to get me the books I loved. I went on to graduate from college, and most of the success I have had were due in party to my habit of reading everything I can.

Which brings me to the point of my blog. I keep reading about the failures of our public schools and the crisis we face in education. There is no crisis in education. I repeat, there is no crisis in education. There is a crisis in parenting. Any kid with a passion for reading will stay in school, or school themselves. If a kid can not read BEFORE he or she starts school, you have failed them as a parent. Certainly there are exceptions, some kids with dyslexia may take a while longer, but for the vast majority of kids, this is true. Lets shut off the TV and give kids the attention they deserve. The crisis in education will disappear quicker than a David Blaine magic trick.

Once again, only my opinion...Thanks mom for not failing me.

I want to be more like my dog

There is one member of my family that everyone loves. I wish it were me, but sadly it is the family dog skyler. When the kids get home the first thing they do is greet and pet the dog and enthusiastically play with him. When my wife gets home, she does the same thing. My wife never asks me what I want for dinner (we all pretty much fend for ourselves in my house), but she never forgets to feed the dog. The dog gets more attention and love than anyone. He has never paid a bill, never cooked a meal, never driven them anywhere, never fixed a cut or scrape, never tucked them into bed and read them a story, never given them $100.00 to go shopping or $20 to see a movie, and sure never bought them a car! He is a great watch dog, if someone were to try to rob our house, he would surely watch them do it. Why does he get all the love and attention?

We all know why, the dog is the only one who gives everyone unconditional love. When someone gets home he practically jumps out of his skin he is so glad to see you. He runs to greet you, acts like he has not seen you in years, wags his tail fast enough to create a breeze, never nags or complains when you feed him the same thing every day, never finds fault or criticizes you, doesn't care what you wear, or whether you have combed your hair or brushed your teeth, and gives you the feeling that you are the most important thing in his life. How can I ever match up to that?

I have to discipline them when they do wrong, lay down rules and be sure they are followed, make tough decisions about what they can and can not do, and generally make their lives more difficult. I can't be like the dog, but I can be more like him.

Growing up, we were not a demonstrative family. I saw other kids whose mom's and dad's would hug them and kiss them, and it seemed odd because that is just not how I was raised. My mom loved us enough, but as a divorcee and a working mom with a full time job, there was not time or opportunity to be "huggy kissee". After a while, it just becomes the norm, and when people invade your space you recoil.

When my mom in law welcomed me into the family with a hug and kiss my reaction was not enthusiastic. Nothing against her, I'm lucky to have great In-Laws, I just wasn't "ready" for it.

I'm ready now. I give my girls as much love as I can. I rarely go a day without telling them how important they are to me. I try to tell them at least once a day how much I love them, and I hug them and kiss them whenever they let me. The older they get the less they let me. It used to be my oldest could not go to bed until i gave her "animal" kisses (I had to impersonate a caterpillar, butterfly, rabbit, whatever she could think of)

I still need to work on the unconditional part. It is hard not to find fault. It is important to say no and to lay down ground rules. I need to do a better job of doing that without being mad about it.

If my kids had to choose one of us to die, me or the dog (horrible thought), I know The dog would be history, but it would be nice if when my wife or kids got home the first thing they would do is hug me and kiss me, not the dog!

I'm working on it. We should all be more like dogs (except the butt sniffing thing).

Pro Life or Pro Choice

I have had a couple of rough days emotionally. I'm normally a very "up" person in spite of my physical challenges. The things that really get to me are almost always issues with my kids.

I have two daughters. Both are really great kids in some ways, and other times....well if you have or had teenagers you know exactly what I mean.

As a young Dale Carnegie© Instructor I had a class member named Ken who was talking about a conversation he had with a coworker. The Coworker challenged Ken by saying "do you mean to tell me you do not believe a fetus is a human being until it is actually born?" To which Ken replied. "No, I do not believe a fetus is a human being until it has reached the age of 21" "up till then you should be able to abort them at any time". Like everyone in the room I laughed, but I confess I did not fully understand the joke until my oldest and youngest reached their teens. For those of you with young kids, the teen years make the terrible twos seem like a Swedish massage on a black sand Hawaiian beach after hitting the powerball lottery. OK maybe not the massage part.

I thought my wife and I did a decent job of raising the kids. Certainly not perfect, but we gave them lots of love, sacrificed a lot to send them to the best private schools in California and Michigan. We got them private tutors when they needed scholastic help, lessons when they wanted to play tennis, ski, swim, draw, paint,etc. We never complained about how expensive it was (unless they wanted to skip a lesson). Certainly I criticized them sometimes but for the most part I tried to build their self esteem and tell them how talented they were. Encouragement was how I preferred to deal with them. When my daughter wanted to sleep in, I did not yell or call her lazy or tell her she was going to be late, instead I sat on the foot of her bed and repeated softly and encouragingly "watch her ladies and gentlemen as she leaps from her bed with singleness of purpose and springs across the room, with a smile on her face and a song in her heart to get ready to face the day as the smartest student in the history of Campbell Hall. After a few choruses she would complain "Stooop dad", but she would get up.

Everything seemed to be going according to plan I created in my head. You know "THE PLAN". My kids would be enthusiastic, positive, loving, hard working kids. Then it happened, not all at once mind you but slowly and almost imperceptibly they began to change. Like the gradual transformation of Michael Jackson from a young African American male into a middle aged white female, my kids transformed (maybe I should have used a decepiticon analogy). They went from sweet, fun, loving kids, who did what we asked (grudgingly at times)and were a joy to talk to and be around, to sullen, uncooperative, mouthy, little brats. The joke about 21 was never clearer to me. I have never regretted having them, but boy have I been hurt by them.

I never realized how deeply I could love until I had my kids. As much as a I love my wife, If she were going to be hit by a bus, I would SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS TO MOVE. I would throw something in front of the bus to try to slow it down, but to jump in front of it (I would, she has been a better wife than I ever deserved) there would be a moments hesitation. Put my kids in the same situation and without a thought I'm roadkill. I never realized why my father in law cried so hard when he told me I could marry his daughter. The parent child bond is so "one way" there is no way to understand it until you have kids of your own. My mom and I had a sometimes strained relationship, most of that changed when I had my kids. I knew she felt the same way about me as i feel about mine. It let me look past all the BS that didn't really matter.

I would rather die than see my kids in pain. I would rather die than see my kids in pain. I would rather die than see my kids in pain. That was not a mistake, I could write that sentence a hundred times and it would not come close to expressing how much I love them. Which makes it so hard to deal with them the way they are now. I have been crying on and off for 2 days because my oldest is going through something that is hurting her. She won't talk to me about it and frankly for 6 or 7 days she hasn't said much of anything to me, unless it was a snarly "I'm not hungry" or "I'm not mad at you" in a tone that implies the word asshole at the end. My youngest is not quite as bad, but she seems to take all her rage out on my wife.

My step-mom Janice gave me some encouragement yesterday. She said my sister Allison was the same way between her senior year of high school and her freshman year of college (just like my oldest). She thinks Tori is just scared about leaving the nest (God how I hope that is it).

I have a couple of points to all this, after all it is called one man's opinion.

First, in my opinion, crying is OK. after a couple days of releasing frustration, anger and hurt feelings, I feel much better. To all of you who haven't cried in a while, let it out. Don't give yourself heart attacks and ulcers. Crying doesn't make a guy a sissy (unless it's at a chic flick, then just go put on a dress and lipstick).

Secondly, don't say or do anything while you are hurt. In Lincoln's letters were several he had written to General Meade and never sent. I "pulled a Lincoln" the other day. I wrote my daughter a text about how much she was hurting me. 24 hours later I deleted it. As i read what I wrote (devoid of emotion) I realized it would only hurt her (which would make me hurt more!). A few hours is not enough time. Wait 24 hours and if you still want to send it or say it....wait 24 more.

I believe in my kids. I believe they have good values and beliefs. I'm certain that years from now these few days will be long forgotten

I guess in my opinion they really aren't complete Human Beings until they reach the age of 21, but I wouldn't trade them for all the money in Bill Gate's portfolio

P.S. I got my first follower today! It is someone I know and love, but that doesn't make it any less exciting. Thanks Carol. You always make me feel important and special.

When is a crisis, not a crisis?

The answer is when it comes from the Government or the Mainstream Media!

All I hear or read about these days is crisis after crisis, First the Crisis in Iraq, then the Crisis of Leadership, then the Financial Crisis, then the Auto crisis, now the Health Care crisis (somewhere in there is the illegal alien crisis). I have a crisis of Understanding. What exactly constitutes a crisis these days?

Tackling these Crisis es (whatever the plural of Crisis is) one at a time, first the crisis in Iraq. As most of us realize now, the crisis was completely fabricated by the Bush/Cheney team. Hurts me to admit it, as a life long Republican, but that team was more disappointing than the Bush I team. Unlike a lot of Republicans I never voted for George W. I didn't like his dad and he seemed like a dumber version of his father. Since I did not like the Democrat he ran against (spelled Gore as in bloody mess he would make with his global warming solutions), for the first time in my voting life, I left the ballot blank for President. Does anybody really believe we belong in Iraq, or Afghanistan? Supposedly we had to fight them over there so we did not have to fight them over here. Did we have to fight them at all? Did we really have much to fear from a country that had buildings worth less than the bombs we dropped on them? Tighten the boarders, change our immigration policies to not allow people from "crazy" countries in, crisis solved. Had we kicked out the nut-jobs that pulled off 9/11 when we were supposed to, the World Trade Center would still be there! They were not even trying to hide, they counted on the sloppiness of our INS to allow them to stay long enough to pull it off, and they were right.

Crisis 2 the crisis of leadership in the Republican Party. That crisis solves itself. Stop voting for idiots and wait until they give us a quality candidate. Nature abhors a vacuum, so when the Repub's realize they haven't won with the knuckleheads they keep putting in front of us, the crisis will solve itself. The real problem is that anyone of quality would be afraid to put their whole life under the scrutiny you face when running for office. Lets face it, anyone my age who did not smoke a little weed, I wouldn't want to vote for anyway. I know lots of people who make great Senators and Congresspersons (did I really say that? wow political correctness even hit me) but open the closet even an inch and a hooker or mistress would could flying out, not to mention a youthful DUI or other such stupidity a kid is bound to commit. Lets stop watching (if not watching at least caring about) stupid indiscretions 20 years ago. Granted a Gary Hart deserves to go down (pun purely intentional!) because it shows bad judgment. Isn't that what we really need from our elected officials, good judgment?

Crisis Three The Financial Crisis. This one I think was real. I also think it was dealt with properly, with the exception of not specifying how the money could be spent. Those Bankers must have their pants specially made to hide the size of the balls you need to do that crap. (sorry for the imagery that creates but geesh giving bonuses to the idiots who created the crisis...as my daughter says...not cool)

The Auto Crisis- see the Financial Crisis...nuff said

The Illegal Immigration crisis. States are taking care of this themselves. All over the country States are passing laws to severely punish employers who hire illegals and landlords who rent to illegals. Will this solve the crisis? Hmmm no job, no roof over your head, seems like home only safer with less violence and more food. I doubt it will fix the problem, many illegals are here to stay, but it will fix a lot of the financial problems it creates. Make a sweatshop more worried about hiring them than they are about profits and you will get higher wages for American Workers.

Here is the biggest Boondoggle of them all. The health care "Crisis" Is it really a crisis? OK France has better health care, that may be more due to lifestyle than health care. No self-respecting Frog would ever eat a "Royale with Cheese" (OK so I'm not so politically correct and shout out to Quentin Tarrantino for the Royale line ). I spent some time in France, they walk most places, they buy fresh local food every day, they are far thinner (every obese person I saw in Paris did not speak French) Give us Americans those habits and I bet we are number !. The other STRIKING fact is that 86% of us are happy with our health care choices! when did 14% become a crisis? True the health care burden hurts our industries in a global marketplace, but do we revamp a system that 86% of like because 14% think it sucks? We all agree health care needs "tweaking", frankly I long for the days before drug companies were allowed to advertise. There's an industry that need revamping. My kids think if you are unhappy about something you don't need to work it out or deal with it. They believe you need Abilify! If my kids were not guided by me they would believe they were ADHD, depressed with restless leg syndrome, and need something to keep them from having to pee all the time. The worst part is that sentence was not a joke!

Let's stop calling everything a Crisis. It cheapens and weakens our response to real Crisis es, like obesity, drug addiction, educational failure, and our crumbling infrastructure. Drive down any street in "the Yak" (Pontiac MI for those of you not in southeastern MI, and shout out to my friend Jordan who clued me in to "the Yak").and you will know what crumbling infrastructure is. Those are crisis es that need and deserve our real attention, not the media inflamed political talking points of today's fashionable problems

Once again, just one man's opinion

The Remus Reid email

I got an email today about a horse thief and train robber named Remus Reid. It was a clever email about how politicians "spin" stories. The problem was the story was a bit too clever. So I did what i always do whenever i am uncertain about the authenticity of a story, I Googled it.

I'm sure you know the rest of the story. The email, while clever, was a complete fallacy. Someone with a creative streak made it up and now thousands of people believe it to be true.

Frankly, that is the problem I have with most biblical stories. While I count myself a Christian, and try to behave as Christ would (whether you believe he was the son of God or not you must admit he had a wonderful philosophy for how to treat people) I question most of the biblical stories. Noah's Ark, the Hindu Purnaic story of Manu, the Deucalion in Greek Mythology or Utnapishtim in the Epic of Gilgamesh all speak of great floods sent by God to destroy and punish the existing civilization. Couldn't these all be clever Remus Reid stories? The fact is that when a myth gets told often enough and long enough the myth "becomes" the truth.

Listen my Children and you shall hear of the midnight ride of.......most of you finish the poem line with Paul Revere. Another myth told over and over again until it became the accepted truth. Google the name Israel Bissell and you will find a guy who rode nonstop over 300 miles to warn everyone that the Brits were coming. Revere's 20 mile gallop was a cakewalk.

I watch the show about magic revealed and I realize I can't even trust what I see with my own eyes half time.

Why am I blogging about this? We as a country need to stop believing what the politicians, and the media outlets, and the emails from our friends tell us. There is no truth in Advertising Laws that cover political commercials. George H.W. Bush Screamed "read my lips no new taxes" and he was lying through his lips! Even trusting the media is impossible these days. Watch the coverage on Fox then compare it to CNN and you wonder how the two stations could cover the same event and tell such different stories about what happened.

Why is this Health Care Bill 1,400 pages and climbing? Why is the Congressional Budget so large it is brought in in huge boxes to heavy to carry? Why do Lawyers write contracts in Leageleese? You can not convince me a Health Care bill can not be written in 100 pages, or the budget in 1,00 pages, or a contract in simple English.

We need to stop trusting and start verifying. We need to demand a Health Care Bill that can be read by someone within a few hours. We need to demand a Budget that the average person can read in a week. We need to demand the truth from our politicians and hold them to their promises or else. Most of all we should demand our contracts and all the congressional bills and laws be written in plain English. I lived in California In the Gray Davis days. The citizens rose up and held a politician accountable. Across the country we need more of that.

How do we start? The contract thing is easy. Don't sign one written in leageleese. demand a plain English Contract (it is supposed to be a trend anyway). The rest is harder. Stop accepting blindly what others say. For important things read both sides of the issue. Gather the facts before you decide. Remember to Everyone (including Politicians) an educated consumer is THEIR WORST NIGHTMARE

The Dr. David Kaiser eMail

Today a good friend of mine sent me an email that was a "must read" the very future of our country depended on my passing this email along to everyone in my address book. By now many of you have read it, and either passed it along as th author requested, or checked it out to see if the article was real.

I fall into the second category. Too many times my inbox has been choked with FEAR. False Evidence Appearing Real. The first thing I did was Google Dr. David Kaiser. Sure enough he was a Harvard Grad and Professor with impressive credentials, and a number of books to his name. He too has a blog, and after reading a number of his articles it became crystal clear he did not write the article I was sent!

Yet another coward with the IQ of a doughnut hole, hiding behind the impressive reputation of a learned scholar. Why do people do this? I'm guessing it is a narcissist who desperately wants to see his words and ideas in print. Knowing no one would pass the article along with his name on the byline, he hijacked the reputation of a person who would not spit on him if he were on fire.

I defend to the death the right of the person who wrote this drivel to express his or her opinion, but his rights ended when he damaged the reputation of a respected author and educator. Too bad the real author did not have the guts to sign his name. I would have loved to google his name. my guess...third grade education with a talent for ciphering (shout out to Jethro Bodine of the Beverly Hillbillies..naught into naught goes naught)

Rest easy comrades, while our Country has seen much better times, we are not descending into the 7th circle of hell. Nor are we about to become the next Nazi Germany or Stalinist Russia, as the shadow author suggests.

I am not enamored with President Obama as so many people in the mainstream press seem to be. He is as flawed as the rest of us (only a lot smarter than most, certainly smarter than me). What I believe is the framers of the Constitution were either incredibly smart, or incredibly lucky. Either way I don't care. I believe the system of Government they created is as perfect a system of Government the world has ever seen. It has allowed a Country to go from log cabins to walking on the Moon in less than 200 Years. Can any nation in History make such a claim? The checks and balances in that document prevent anyone from gaining the kind of control necessary to plunge our great nation into chaos. If anyone can bring down our great Country in four years, well it wasn't much of a Country in the first place.

I also believe is that the office of President of the United States is by far the worst job in the world. Low pay (compared to what people leading a company make), constant fear of assassination (especially for the first Black President), stress that you and I will never be exposed to (most President age exponentially while in office), no private life of your own, constant hounding from the press, and the responsibility for THE ENTIRE WORLD ECONOMY (if we are to believe what the economists say), not to mention world security, on your shoulders. True the private 747 is extremely cool. No one exposes himself and his family to that unless they believe the country needs their leadership and wisdom.

As I said earlier, I am not an Obamamaniac, but I am willing to give him a chance to succeed and to earn my vote for a second term. If he falls short, he will be booted out of office like Jimmy Carter, George H.W. Bush and every other single term President in history.

Sleep well tonight. In spite of all the doom and gloom predictions you still live in the only Country that would build a wall to keep people out!

This is just one man's opinion and I am willing to give my real name to express it!